Darjeeling vs Blighty Ducks – van den Broek Esq.

Date: 11 March 2017

Venue: ICC Academy

On a glorious sunny day at the ICC, the eagerly awaited traditional monthly friendly against The Blighty Ducks produced a match winning performance by Darjeeling’s own Six-Machine, Carl ”Half-Giant” Fletcher, that will be remembered by all present for many years to come. After the humbling of Skyline CC up in Sharjah the week before, principally by Half-Giant, he was keen to keep reproducing his towering form and produce he did!

 

Carl

Like a pig in Duck Sh*t

Skipper A. “Double A” Banerjee kept to his tried and tested method of losing the toss and being asked to bat first under a blue, sunny sky, on what transpired to be a slow-ish track, which although yellowish and hard in hue, it was thought would require batsmen to work hard for their runs (oh how Half Giant make a mockery of that!). “Half-Giant” Fletcher and Jamie “Sneaky” Smibert opened the Darjeeling innings with watchful intent and looked solid from the start, safely negotiating The Ducks’ opening salvos by the oddly effective pairing of moonball off-spinner Clive and medium-quick Rob. Half-Giant Fletcher warmed up with a couple of scything blows to the leg-side boundary, which kept the scoring rate decent with Sneaky Smibert looking comfortable picking up singles and rotating the strike. Sneaky, however, with the intent of upping the scoring rate, nicked one to first slip, which he was rather surprised about and thus had to sneak off the pitch unbeknownst to his fellow team mates. Realising that Fletcher was standing on his own, with Sneaky having snuck off, Ollie ”van den” van den Broek walked in at 3 and, expecting a loosener, was surprised by a rather well-directed bouncer first up by Rob, which caused him to produce an Olympian style double-pike tuck, which summarily landed him on his backside (Tom Daly would’ve been distinctly unimpressed!). Half-Giant, on the other hand, tucked in to the Duck bowling of Clive and leg-spinner Allen by either charging down the pitch clubbing them over their heads or smoting the ball to the leg side with swivel pulls or flicks, keeping the run rate at a steady 6-7 an over. “Van den”, ridiculously thinking he could match his more illustrious partner, also charged down the track to Allen but only managed to successfully spoon the ball to long-off, thus ending a rather short and uninspired innings.

After Van den’s departure, in-stepped Carl “Conor – The Notorious” McGregor, fresh from dominating all opposition on the UFC circuit and wanting to now grapple with the more viscous and physical sport of cricket. With the atmosphere akin to his ring-side cage, The Notorious south-pawed his first ball for 4 with aplomb and then rope-a-doped a couple of singles around the pitch. Deep into the 5th over, Notorious decided to upper-cut a delivery to the off-side boundary but was undone by Allen’s “rear-naked choke” off-break and was forced to tap for submission. Notorious trudged off realising he had been outsmarted by the better f(l)ighter but was soon made aware of Floyd Mayweather’s announcement to end his retirement and fight Notorious for an estimated $100m fight in June this year, which cheered him up a bit.

This brought in Tom “Thumb” Mariadason and together with Half-Giant, with a fighting weight of 120kg himself, brought about a combined heavyweight batting partnership of 122.5kg with The Thumb just about reaching the height of Half Giant’s pad. Keeping bat and pad close together like forefinger and thumb, The Thumb looked good value. Unfortunately for The Thumb, he was out to his 3rd ball for 1 edging again, like his predecessor Notorious, to the keeper. Hard luck, mate!

Adam “Partially Blind” Benjamin, namesake of former 1998 Blind World Cup England Captain (http://static.espncricinfo.com/db/ARCHIVE/1998-99/OTHERS+ICC/WC-BLIND/SQUADS/WC-BLIND_NOV1998_ENG-PROFILES.htmlNB. category B1 blind, thus partially blind, not fully blind), was next in to accompany The Half-Giant at the 12th over with only 74 on the board realising that they had to up the ante. Partially Blind (or PB for short), reminiscent of some of the West Indian greats with his relaxed, languid manner and resplendent in Oakley blackout glasses to maintain style and blind-ness, missed his first 6 balls whilst clearly being perplexed by not being able to hear the jingle of the ball as it was coming down the track. Realising this was a standard game of cricket without the audible assistance of bells, he was suddenly gifted with the power of sight and smacked one boundary and started rotating the strike beautifully to allow The Half-Giant to play his LARGE game.

At this point in time, the report must turn towards an innings of such magnificence, the written word cannot do it justice. In short, Half-Giant plundered and battered the opposition bowling with such ferocity and power that I am sure will have mentally scarred the opposition bowlers for quite some time. A humble man of few words, the Half-Giant very much lets his bat (or bats after splitting one in half during his mammoth innings) do the talking, smashing the ball to all parts of the ground for 154 brutal runs, which included some outrageous sixes and one particular strike nearly taking out a fielder on the neighbouring pitch as well as depositing several balls on top of the changing room’s roof. There are several key facts and figures of note from this terrific knock…of Darjeeling’s total of 189, the Half-Giant hit 154 of them (for the statisticians out there, that is an incredible 81.5% of the team’s total) in only 62 balls, hitting 12 6’s and 12 4’s. From getting to his century to 150, he managed to do that in an astonishing 10 balls! Indeed, with Darjeeling on only 74 after 10 overs, the Half Giant-Partially Blind partnership proved an unstoppable combination, which would go on to yield 115 runs, ultimately taking the game out of sight (no pun intended PB). An awesome feat and quite outstanding knock by the Half-Giant, ably supported by Partially Blind. Bravo and hats off all round! With the team reaching a total of 189, it was felt that this was a more than decent total and one which Darjeeling knew they could defend well with a strong bowling line-up.

Apropos…Double A decided to open the bowling with Israr ‘The Academic’ and with the inspired choice of Badger “Badger” Badger at the other end. The Academic bowled tight lines to which the opening oppo batsmen had no answer and was unlucky not to add a wicket to his ever-increasing list of post-nominals. Badger, on the other hand, with his penchant for bowling beautifully flighted China(wo)men, beguiled the batsmen into playing rash shots by either spooning the ball into the air to the Darjeeling fielders or dancing down the pitch and missing the ball altogether, being expertly stumped by part-time keeper Digby “Dirty” Fraser’s filthily effective glovework. Indeed, Badger ripped through the cream of the Ducks’ batting line-up, ending up with splendid bowling figures of 4-13 of his 4 overs and was unlucky not to get his Michelle if it wasn’t for a couple of dropped half-chances in the slips. Double A also deserves a mention at this point for his masterful manipulation of the field as skipper, which assisted in getting at least two Duck wickets. Indeed, Double A will tell you that his captaincy is inspired via the power of Jazz, which he will gleefully tell you about over a couple of G&Ts…a thoroughly enjoyable chat if I say so myself!

The opening Darjeeling salvo immediately quelled any chances of the Ducks staging a successful run chase as they were reduced to 37/4 after 8 overs once The Academic and Badger had finished their respective spells. The first change bowlers of The Thumb and Notorious supported the opening pair well with The Thumb bowling especially well ending with match figures of 2-15 off his 4 overs, which included a medley of leggies; googlies and flippers. Most impressive for someone of such youth!

Richard “Dexy” H and Double A wrapped the innings up as second change bowlers, whilst being very well supported in the field via run outs through a Partially-Blind / Dirty combo, which left The Ducks all out for 95 runs, thus providing Darjeeling with a rather dominating win of 94 runs.

So, a thoroughly enjoyable game was had by all, which included a gargantuan individual score, full of clobbered sixes, by Darjeeling’s Half-Giant; plenty of wickets by Badger and The Thumb and agile fielding by all to keep the Darjeeling boys as happy as a gaggle of Larry’s. Added to that, an enjoyable post-match drinks session was had with the Ducks to discuss the day’s play, which is what the game of cricket is all about. The hope is that this comprehensive win against a good side with plenty of talent of its own, will kick-start Darjeeling’s friendly side into a strong second half of the season. Cheers!

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DCC Colts v CSE at Ajman Oval – words by D Mariadason

After having been asked by CSE to be ready to play at 3:15pm Ajman Time, DCCc dads scrambled from all parts of Dubai  and most made it to the ground in time only to find that the opposition were still on Sharjah time and arrived at 3:45. The boys have learned well from the seniors and invoked DCC Law #1 and padded up…… 

colts-warming-up

The openers Thomas and Yash made a steady start, until Yash was trapped in front for 8. Thomas was met by Rithik and took the score along to 38. Losing another quick wicket DCCc were looking shaky and 3/44 off 9. An excellent 95 run partnership between Yahya (59 off 43) and Rohan (46 off 40), steadied the side and gave us a glimmer of hope of posting a competitive score. With some good running, lusty hitting and unselfish batting by the tail Kai, Chris, Aryan and Ryan, DCCc finished at 8/172 from 25.

CSE got off to a flyer, with one of the openers smashing all bowlers to all parts, with some very impressive strokes. Having put on almost 40 before losing the first wicket CSE looked the goods. DCCc didn’t help matters by dropping 5 catches. Having broken the opening stand DCCc managed to pull scoring rate back and were able to build some pressure and pick up a few more wickets. Aryan and Yahya slowed thing down with some tidy off spin and Joe picked up a couple of wickets including a smart stumping by Kai. It was still anyone’s game with CSE needing 50 off 5. A couple of crucial run outs, very good catches by Ryan in the deep and  tight bowling at the death ensured DCCc were able to enjoy a well-earned BBQ proudly sponsored by Dr Jaco’s Dental Studio.

Special thanks to Munish who broke all Thursday night land speed records to get from Sports City to Ajman by 4pm and walk straight on to Umpire for 50 overs. Jaco for finally getting off the phone in time to cook the snags and burgers….. Rob and Omar for supporting from the side lines, CSE for the game and all the parents who support the boys.

colts-barbecue

A good result for the colts.

DSL match 3: Darjeeling v Titans @ Dubai 7s – words by Mr. T. Kimber

I will start by saying, what a game of cricket this was!!

 Jono again lost the toss and Titans decided they would have a bat.  We didn’t start as we would have hoped with the ball and Titans built and impressive opening partnership of 127 off just 12.5 overs, latching onto anything short or wide off the seamers Viv (3-0-31-0) and Blikkies (3-022-0).  Shuggie (5-0-57-0) was brought on to try and stem the flow of runs, but was met with some brutal striking, both openers managing to clear the ropes regularly and by some distance.

Viv was switched ends to try and break the partnership and duly nicked off Titans chunky opener, however the umpire somehow didn’t see or hear the nick and KFC’s favourite customer for the past 10 years, decided he was going nowhere and refused to walk. Poor form indeed.  The onslaught of clean hitting continued and Titans found the boundary on a worryingly regular occasion.  The more flighted bowling of Jono (5-0-44-0) and Rhys (4-0-38-1) seemed to slow the scoring rate slightly and eventually Rhys broke the opening partnership in the 13th over, having the tiring KFC enthusiast caught nonchalantly one handed in the deep by Israr for 73 off just 40 balls.  He wasn’t a fan of running but he certainly struck the ball cleanly. 

Titans had set themselves a very good platform and with what looked like their best batsman coming out at 3, were in for an imposing total.  Again they built another good partnership of 80+ rotating the strike well between left and right handers and seeming to find the boundary at will.  The hitting was relentless and Mike (3-0-27-0) and Israr (2-0-28-0) did a decent job at the death when the batsman were looking to hit every ball for 6.  Darjeeling stuck at it and managed to effect a couple of run outs to keep the scoring to as few as was possible.  Titans eventually finishing on 248 for 4.  The pitch was flat and the outfield was quick, but it would take a serious effort to chase down ten an over from ball one.

 The Darjeeling innings began with openers Rhys and Blikkies, the Titans opening bowlers began with tight lines and both openers possibly looked to over hit the ball and struggled for timing, understandable given the imposing total they faced. Blikkies was out for 5 in the third over, which brought Tom to the crease with a licence to get on with it and utilise the power play.  After some tight early bowling Tom was greeted with wide long hop first ball, which was duly dispatched to the extra cover boundary.  That seemed to ignite the innings, with Tom and Rhys looking to make the most of the fielding restrictions in the first 8 overs, they punished pretty much everything, ending the power-play on 78. 

Game on. 

Still needing to score at 10 an over the partnership continued to grow, running well between the wicket and punishing anything loose. It was quickly realised that Titans had one real threat with the ball, the left arm spinner, it was important to milk him whilst trying to score heavily off what ever was dished up at the other end, which we did nicely.  Rhys was eventually out for 40 off 32 in the 12th over with the score on 107.  Ben strode out at 4 and continued where Rhys left off, putting pressure on the fielders in the deep and turning ones into two regularly.  When Tom  finally departed, stumped for 65 off 37 with the score on 137 in the 16th over there was still plenty to do. 

Darjeeling continued to score at a decent rate with everyone coming in doing their job.  Watto (5 off 5) and Ben (33 off 23) fell in quick succession in the search of quick runs.  That lead to the arrival of Israr (37 off 17) and Shuggie (21 off 10) they built a brilliant partnership of over fifty in quick time, finding the boundary on a regular occasion.  Israr taking the 20th over for 21 was the turning point, suddenly we 48 off the last 5 overs.  Darjeeling continued to plunder the bowling, even the loss of regular wickets could not slow the run rate, as every man who came in contributed.  Following the run out of Olli Jennings it was left to the Viv and the skipper to see us home, needing just 3 off the final over.  Jono flicked the 3rd ball of the over to the boundary and that was that.  Darjeeling had chased down 249 to win. 

What a ridiculous game of cricket, spare a thought for the Titans opener who carried his bat for 105 not out, never nice to score a hundred and your team lose.  Not that we care too much, we won. 

Link to the scorecard: https://www.crichq.com/#matches/439675/1st_innings

 

Darjeeling v Abu Dhabi Gentlemen – words by Thomas Mariadason

Darjeeling C.C VS Abu Dhabi Gentlemen

 Darjeeling traveled to Emirates Palace to meet the Abu Dhabi Gents. The scenery was jaw dropping to the vast majority of players and it took a little time to let it sink in that we were playing a game of cricket in a palace next to the beach.

David was appointed captain and had a tough job on his hands having 3 leg spinners and 3 off spinners in the team. The leggies included Joe, George and Thomas and the off spinners included Umer, Aryan and Ollie.

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Toss time came around ,after relaxing under the trees, and David lost it. Darjeeling were bowling first! David gave himself the first over and kept it tidy, only giving 3 runs away. Munish was given the second over and went for 11. David bowled 3 overs with figures of 0-11 and Munish was taken off after his second over went for 29. George came on and gave a left handed batsman nightmares after bowling consistent googlies in his overs and finished on figures of 1-38 after 5.

Shehan came on and was getting some surprising bounce and pace off the wicket after telling David that he bowled medium pace. Shehan rattled the batsmen with the shorter delivery and Kai took some very good catches going low to his right. Shehan ended up with figures of 2-23 off 5. Meanwhile in the field Jaco Smith ,who was due for surgery in a couple of weeks, was throwing himself around the ground and stopping every run he could, deserving the name Jonty. Joe then came on and bowled a good spell, picking up the wicket of Sheraz who was looking dangerous on 43. Joe finished his spell of 4 overs for 2-25. Thomas then came on and bowled a tidy spell of 2-16 off 3 and had Sheraz swinging his bat so hard that David was worried that the bat would go further than the ball. Aryan was given the ball and went the distance, ending up on figures of 0-38 off 2. Umer came on for the last over and was given some punishment,going for 14. The Abu Dhabi Gents ended up on a total of 202, setting Darjeeling 203 to win.

Umer and Jaco opened up for Darjeeling. Umer looked like he was ready to rumble having hit his first ball for 4, unfortunately Umer was only able to get 20 after being bowled. Jaco didn’t trouble the scorers after playing on a delivery.

Ollie came in at 3 and never really got going and only managing 9 before being bowled. Shehan was in at 4 and looked good, hitting three 4’s and a 6, however he could only manage 25. George was next in and played a very solid front foot defence first up but he held out playing a reverse sweep and being caught. for 2. Munish was next in and managed 10, hitting a lot of singles from miss-hits before being bowled. David came in and managed 4 not out. Thomas then came in and watchfully played his first ball for a dot, then he flicked a ball of his hip down to fine leg and it was quoted ‘the shot of the day’ from the keeper, however Thomas was stumped off the bowling of Etienne, expecting it to come a lot faster than it did. Aryan came in for the last 3 balls of the match and played a nice cut shot for 2. Darjeeling finished their innings off with 80. 

 The Abu Dhabi Gentlemen were definitely the better team on the day.

 

Wombats v Darjeeling, Dubai 7’s night game. Scribed by Sir Thomas Kimber

Darjeeling lost the toss and were asked to field, in what turned out to be tough catching conditions. Opening bowlers JP (5-0-27-0) and Brent (3-0-34-1) used the humid conditions to significantly swing the new ball.  

JP bowling a tight opening spell, giving little away.  At the other end Brent struggled to control the swing and subsequently bowled a lot of wides. However, in between the wides were some absolute beauties and was unlucky to have a nick behind put down before making the breakthrough. LBW.  

From there on Wombats built a couple of decent partnerships, but never really got away from us, with Ash (4-0-31-0) and Krish (5-0-28-2) bowling tight lines, giving very little away. Krish in particular was excellent in changing pace which made it difficult for the batsman to get him away to the boundary. 

Towards the end of the innings, when Wombats really looked to increase the scoring rate, they were halted by the taking of regular loss of wickets, Joe (5-0-44-3) and Dexy (3-0-32-1) held their nerve to ensure Wombats did not make it past the 200 mark, finishing on 198 for 5 off their 25 overs. 

Darjeeling were assisted by some good fielding in the ring, Brent’s direct hit run out from point being the stand out moment in the field.  The less said about some of the efforts in the deep the better and in all honesty there were a fair few of them, but as I mentioned at the beginning conditions were tough, it was dark for a start.

 Tom (10) and JP (28 of 20) opened the batting for Darjeeling.  Tom looked in sublime form, timing the ball nicely until recieving what can only be described as a tricky straight delivery, which he duly played all around to be bowled. Not ideal.  Krish (6) came out to join JP at 3 and proceeded to deposit is second ball over the ropes for 6.  However, in trying to do the same to his third delivery he was bowled.

Possibly a touch on the rash side. This brought Dexy to the crease, who unfortunately also got one of those tricky straight ones and was bowled for a duck. This brought Jaco (16) to the crease, again we were unable to build a partnership as JP was undone by a slower ball.  Which brought skipper for the evening Pottie (8) to the wicket, who was undone by what looked like wombats best bowler and was bowled trying to up the scoring rate. Ash came to the crease and built our first meaningful partnership with Jaco, both playing some glorious strokes. Jaco was eventually out LBW for a well made 16. 

Brent strode the wicket full of meaning and promise, something he certainly fulfilled, during an innings filled with cultured strokes and brutal striking, including a couple of big sixes.  Again, he and Ash built a decent partnership, before Ash decided to protect his average and retire for a well compiled 23 off 32.  Brent also decided he would protect his average and retired after making 28 off 24.  Which allowed Chris (3), Kai (4 not out) and Joe (2 not out) to get some time in the middle.  Darjeeling ended up on 143 from our 25 overs. 

 An enjoyable evening had by all, despite the loss, Wombats were simply too strong on the day.

 

DCC v Six Pistols – words by O. Higgens

On what was hopefully one of the few remaining sweltering days of the summer, DCC took on a pretty tame looking punk cover band, the Six Pistols (who then turned out to actually be covering the Dubai Exiles). Skipper Ash won the toss and DCC subsequently padded up; the boys looking forward to watching a few strokes from the shade.

Etienne and Rach got proceedings underway with Rach scoring 7 (8) before snicking off to a surprisingly good take from the ‘keeper. Colin joined Etienne and built a solid partnership against what seemed to be a decent opening bowling pair who bowled out the first 8 overs for 38-1. 

Etienne then found the turbo as the 1st and 2nd change bowlers came on and proceeded to begin stroking boundaries at a rate of knots, finishing Caught and Bowled (to another one handed take) with 61 from 40 balls (3x4s, 5x6s). At this point, Higgens joined for a rusty 13 (16 including one boundary) as Colin was going through the gears (finishing on 57 being run out off the last ball of the innings (6x4s). Kirky chipped in with 6 off 4 as the innings closed on 157 for 4 down. 20 to 30 runs short of what was believed to be par in 20 overs.

As Darjeeling took to the field, Kirky’s overwhelmingly energetic Swans support had translated into some serious banter from mid on, however, unfortunately, DCC couldn’t replicate the energy with the ball and the Six Pistols moved quickly to 40-0 off 4 overs with good balls being produced by both Rohan (2-0-25-0) and Etienne (2-0-20-0) but the bad ones being taken full advantage of with the field up.

With the start of the innings highlighting that the Six Pistols seemed to only possess one batsman (Hassan aka Hussey-wanabe), the middle period showed a good combination from DCC of experience and youth with Ash (3-0-19-0), Thomas (4-0-21-1) and Aryan (3-0-33-0) compiling some decent pressure as the pace came off the ball (and the batsman’s wind up grew).

Unfortunately, a dramatic Darjeeling come back wasn’t to be and we were indeed shown to be 20-30 shy of a par target with Six Pistols (Dubai Exiles) winning by 9 wickets in the 19th.

Farewell to comrades

It was Friday 13th, the sun was shining and CD and Lee entered into their last DCC supper with their 13 other disciples in tow, but who would be found hanging on the cross by the end of the day? (As it turned out it was both, along with several of their followers).

Fresh from 1 hours sleep and a black sambuca breakfast Lee negotiated the toss with CD allowing him his choice based on the years served rule, CD elected to field while the oven was warming up.

God’s Chosen Ones (aka those of normal height) opened with the skipper himself wearing Thomas’s pad as a compulsory armguard and his Bahrain Buffalo Bullfrog stalwart Badger, opening up for The Wrong Un’s, was the silver fox willow Kotze himself. Ball one…. Kotze wobbled down his finest first delivery in his DCC career and was met with the usual amount of negativity from Lee as he blocked it out to point.

Some tight early overs from CD, Nick and Dexy were soon put to bed when the Gully was crashed over midwicket first ball for 4 and drilled over cover for 6 by his Lee leading to his retirement on 50.

Badger soon followed Lee back nicking off to Ieuan for a flamboyant 1. Brad the Chiang Mai Wall in at 3 was doing his level best to increase the run rate with a flurry of drives but his partner Rasta Abrahams soon fell victim to Umer for 11. Tebby looking like he would ‘come on for the run’ made a quick 10 before coming the first of Rohan’s run out victims. Erstwhile Brad had cruised to 28 and was safely back in the pavilion reminiscing of CM (where?) with ETB.

Olly Van Der Broek was asked to put his finger in the wall (I add not the Chiang Mai version) and stop the flow of wickets, but was out to an extraordinary piece of luck, more lucky than Jono pulling a thin bird, a return catch was shelled by Thomas (I thought it was Rohan) diving at full length only for the ball to crash into the stumps and leave Olly out of his ground and out for 1. Nathan ‘Thailand’ Williams using what can only be described as tree trunk hit a couple of lusty blows before making the stupid mistake of hitting one down Kes the Trolley Dolly’s throat at long off for an appropriate 13. Harry who might look back at this game thinking there will be better days inexplicably was out bowled on a free-hit to the smallest of all Thomas I’ve inherited my dad’s golden arm Mariadson for 11.

The kids then started turning the screw, Ieuan returned to clean ETB on his return for 3 and Thomas then had Ben stumped for 5. Viv gave Gully a wicket when a lusty blow picked out Umer for 10, and Chris Neal became the 3rd run out victim this time to Umer for another unlucky for some 13. Ash dancing down the wicket like a whirling dervish gave Jono his 3rd victim making 8.

In return the first retiree Lee to join Blikkies, acting as a joint heavy roller for the second innings added some needed runs, Blikkies huge 6 off Umer had Kes moving into an extraordinary fielding position at long-high off, standing above the sightscreen in the ‘moon’ position. Inspired by this Lee aiming to in his words “knock the fucker off” drilled CD in the last over straight but low for four, nutmegging George in the process who thankfully for him was hanging to the right.

The innings closed with Lee unbeaten on 78 and Blikkies 14. A challenging total of 237 had been set. Pick of the bowlers was Thomas once again, pick of the batsmen… pretty damn obvious.

After a short innings break a padded set of silver foxes in the form of Gully and CD strode out to the wicket to face Badger the Bunny. Gully, wearing a shirt reminiscent of the last time he paid his club fees faced the first ball and together with CD started building an innings that would for a long time baffle the cricketing gods.

Gully was the first to go caught off the bowling of Tebby for a run a ball 5, not reproducing his days as a class A Australian cricket opener and in came Dexy, wearing his pink cravat, which could mean only one thing, or two, in some cultures.

What followed was the biggest collection of mistimed shots, thick outside edges, back foot off cut straight drives from CD and swings and misses coupled with singles from Dexy. Such was the beauty of the innings, that God’s chosen ones started slowly but surely take their big feet of the gas, all part of the Tyrian Lannister type deception being built by the wrong’uns wiley captain.

With his only well timed shot of the day, a straight drive, well placed over Rasta’s head, CD retired for a captain’s knock of 52 off 20 odd balls, leaving Dexy to continue his dot ball deception, but how long would that last?

In strode Teddy Mooney who for a time continued the dot ball deception for some time before picking up a few fours, keeping the wrong’uns just in touch with the now overconfident cheery chosen ones.

At the same time, Dexy suddenly decided that he had spent enough time building an innings and proceeded to go bounding towards his retirement scoring his last 15 runs of 5 balls, retiring on 25 off about 109 balls. Would this be the start of a turnaround?

Here is where I start getting a bit blurry, I believe caused by the bullfrog induced concussion suffered at Kickers, so excuse the run of play slightly.

Enter Gary Busey aka Maverick aka Colin Morris for a three run cameo, bowled by Chris Neal.

At about the same time, Teddy, or so he claims, agreed that he would give Lee an easy catch off Ash’s bowling, thereby proving himself to be both a scholar and a gentleman out for a solid 18.

Jono, who I have known since he was a wee lad, walked in with the confidence of a young feeder in his prime and what occurred from this point onwards was a thing of beauty.

The tall blokes chuckled and pie’d themselves into a sense of comfort and allowed Jono to retire on a 14 odd ball 26, mostly off Viv, who could be seen tearing up on the fence after Jono’s onslaught.

Blake coming in after Mooney’s wicket, made a welcome come back to the club with after a stint in Kenya where he scored a double hundred for his club against the Mombasa school for the blind and deaf, finding some kind of form with a very good 22, stumped by the reluctant keeper off the bowling of a certain Mr. van der Broek, which I must say, is a great name, further setting up the innings

Meanwhile Umer, who sounds exactly like Ducky, a gent who some at the club might know, contributed with a good 20 to hold up one end for Kes, who was nursing a suntanned backside from his sight screen antics.

Kes, cunningly sent in after a short conference between the shorts captain and Jono from his batting position of 15, he proceeded to stroke a pre-nap Eugene for 3 sixes in one over and scoring a game changing 25 of 7 balls, setting up a tense finish.

With young Rohan coming in to join Umer and Badger bowling the last over, the shorts needed a run a ball off the last over, conservatively reached, including a reverse sweep from young Rohan and the shorts pulling victory from the jaws of defeat, leaving God’s chosen ones wondering what God they had chosen.

A great game was followed up by a focused fines session spilling into what can only be described as a Kicker’s brunch reminiscent of the days when we had a clubhouse, may she rest in peace.

Gentleman, are we still gentleman?

Thank you to everyone, it’s been great.