Christmas Match 2014 – words by Nick Harvey

The People have spoken! – the overwhelming choice for the Christmas match has been to stoke up a bit of Hemispherical rivalry….
So on Saturday 27th December post-festivities, the Men of the North led by Mr Gary (True Grit) Turner will take the field
against the Shandy-drinking Bed-Wetting Southern Softies with Greg (Moistly) Moses trying to keep the bitch-slapping
and the cat-calling at bay.
We’ll be playing a 20 over (more if we can) Taverners Rules* Match (at the ICC Academy)
Batsmen retire on 20 – can come back at the end
Must use a minimum of 10 Bowlers, bowling a maximum of 3 each.
Please be there before 1:00pm for our pre-match “Warm-up” session.  Please do not worry, this is not going to be too stressful
or arduous – just a little exercise to loosen the muscles and get the blood flowing.
That said, by simply turning up – you’re all automatically, signing a disclaimer agreeing that the club (or me) will be in no way responsible for any injuries, sickness, disorders, pregnancies, rashes, diseases, scars or mental deficiencies that come about from our little ‘warm-up’ session ☺
THE NORTH                                               THE SOUTH
1       Badger (Beast)                                 1       Nathan (Caring) Cartright
2       GT (True Grit)*                                  2       (Gay) Gully
3       Johno (Hard-on) Houghton             3       (Nice) Nick Lloyd
4       Nick (Harder) Harvey                       4       (Sensitive) CD Kotze
5       Sugee (Monster)                              5       Ben (Jolly good) Jones
6       Richard (Well-Hard) Hallows            6       Kym (Harmless) Harris
7       Julius (Juggernaut) Mooney            7       Etienne (Velvety) Visser
8       Jason (Steaming) Stewart               8       Jason (Breathless) Brown
9       Chris (Braveheart) Bridle                 9       Ian (Potty-trained) Potgieter
10      Chris (Dominant) Dommett           10      Andrew (Kind-hearted) Kirk
11      Lee (Deadly) Dawson                    11      Greg (Moistly) Moses
12      (Cock-Crusher) Coco                    12      Brad (Wiggly) Wissink
13      Olly (He-Man) Higgens

DCC vs Brandy Invitation XI (Part 2) – Words by Gary Turner‏

After a quick intake of H2O we took the field as a unit. No need for Churchillian urgings I thought , a good total on the board and a team packed with experienced bowlers so no worries. Of course Greg Moses then says that due to a chronic fractured Eye lash he would rather not bowl! Did you know that Greg is part Saffer and part British? His eye lashes obviously come from North Wales! Then up pops the other demon mix of Sunderland and Cape Town, Jim the Vicar Grisdale. His injuries involved at least something visible in terms of a Rugby fall whilst training. However the bruising had reached a part of his anatomy that led to me declining any further inspection , “I believe you Jim, I am sure it is all black and blue as well” I retorted , backing away rapidly. Still no worries , I have the Dad and Son team of the Mariadason;s to be my demon strike bowlers and what a fantastic job they did! Dave  opened up from the top end and had the ball swinging in like a boomerang , whilst young Rohan bowled a great line and length running in from the Academy end.

Dave struck twice in his second over and then Rohan bowled a peach that swung and moved off the pitch with his first ball of his second over. In walked the aforementioned  Damien Brandy with his celebrity side teetering at 12 for 3. At this point in proceedings we are very fortunate in having several “specialist” slip fielders in our club. Apparently Ram , our new recruit is also one. However when Damien Brandy flashed at Rohan’s  5th delivery of his second over it was only  me who was at first slip and although the ball thudded into my outstretched right palm , it also thudded out again!! Never mind I thought , it won’t  be long before he has gone! Doh!

Dave bowled superbly for his 4-0-2-18 and was well backed up by young Rohan who finished with figures of 4-0-18-1. Take a bow that family!!

Debutant Ram was given the chance to show off his all-rounders  skills and soon learned that bowling at the ICC is not always so easy. Especially when the reprieved Mr. Brandy decides he quite likes the length! Damian just basically tried to hit virtually every ball into space , and very nearly succeeded! Ross came on and bowled a tidy first over before Damien took a fancy to him as well , supported by Dan , the Darjeeling man who was also playing some shots. Ram came off slightly bruised with figures of 2-0-29-0 and Ross finished with 3-0-24-0

So the match entered what can in “clicheville”  be called “the Crucial Phase” . Paul Shenks was brought into the firing line and 6 balls later the Brandy X1 where 12 runs nearer our total!  I decided I could not hide anymore and brought myself on from the top end  , 6 balls later and another 13 had been plundered including a massive 6 that cleared the gardens behind me! Paul  gamefully   continued,  and all playing saw Damian go into overdrive and score a further 18 runs and all of a sudden we were  deep in the Mulligatawny as my Indian friends often say!!

At the start of my second over I was in 3 or 4 minds in terms of what sort of ball to bowl to Damien who loomed very large at the other end of the wicket. So I bowled a wide. Obviously I had a bit of chat with their umpire , words like “harsh” and “really” where uttered! So next ball I lobbed one up and fully expected it to be dispatched for 6…… he missed it and it hit his back leg in front of middle and leg , everyone screamed  and my mate the umpire triggered Mr. Golden Bollocks Brandy back to the pavilion!! Relief and high 5,s all around in the DCC camp!

Jim bravely hobbled in off a couple of paces for the next over going for only 5 and Dave M took a great catch in the deep to get rid of Dan before the next batsman was bowled by a specialty  skuttle ball that never got above 2 inches  after pitching, you know the sort of ball Stuie used to bowl all the time!

Jim then completed proceedings by being smashed for 19 off the last over by Posh Toms  brother! He did not enjoy that at all but DCC had won by 25 runs or so. Jim finished with 2 overs for 26 and for me a flattering 3 overs 3 for 25.

The match was played in a great spirit , no dissent to the umpire (well just a little) and everyone in the DCC team played a part and contributed. It is why we are the greatest cricket club in the world , but then I may be biased!!!

DCC vs Brandy Invitation XI (PART 1) – Words by Gary Turner

As the Darjeeling faithful started to arrive at the ICC there was more than a few moans and groans about how long it takes for a Dubai summer to end and an Arab winter to begin! Too long was the conclusion and indeed it was very hot and sticky.

Our opponents for the day included several “ex” Darjeeling” wallahs “ and even our new member Dan was roped in , presumably because of his ability to stop a flaying cricket bat with his eye. Because of this familiarity with the opposition it was  decided that  DCC rule number 1 could not be invoked and instead a proper “Toss” took place out in the middle. Damian Brandy called incorrectly and I duly skipped back to our dressing room with the great news that the opposition had been duly inserted!

This match also marked the return to the fold of Ian P who had been lost in the wilderness for some time on some breeding programme and with his opening  partner Brad Wissink they strode manfully to the crease to face the eclectic mix that made up the Brandy X1. It is fair to say that both of our openers took full advantage of some indifferent bowling but several of the bowlers where also capable of actually pitching one up AND on the stumps so some care was needed. After 5 overs we had reached 52 , with Ian dealing mainly in “thumps” of increasing violence around the park. Extras also contributed to the score with wide’s  and “beamer” no balls aplenty!

After 10 overs drinks where taken and Ian announced that as he would also be keeping wicket it was time for a younger and fitter man to take over the batting duties from him. Well he said part of that anyway and he retired for a well-played  41 and the evergreen Greg Moses took his place.

You may not be aware that there is a lot of “history” and “previous” as the Londoners say between Greg and Brad. They have shared many things , literally apparently and they also love to make the other party run when batting together!! Each claims that he is the leader in all this but regardless an all run 4 , several run 3,s and more than a few 2,s took its toll on Greg and he top edged a catch when looking well set for 31. Oh Brad did chuckle!!!

The reformed Vicar of Dibley , formerly known  as” Big Bad”  Jim Grisdale took over from Greg and in his usual style smashed both bowlers for big 6,s and a disputed number of 4,s ( I was distracted whilst scoring!) before Brad laughed no more as he took a full bunger on his toe and was out LBW for an enterprising 68  and thus entered  Ramesh , making his debut for DCC

Jim meanwhile was being beaten for pace by the returning Damian Brandy for a rapid 27 , Paul Shenk came and went , another victim of a rejuvenated Brandy leaving David and Ramesh to finish off our innings at 192 for 4 with Ram on 8 and David on 2.

As skipper I thought we should have reached 200 but also felt that this would be good enough to secure a comfortable victory. But did I mention a rejuvenated Damien Brandy…. I will shortly in Part 2 of this saga!!

A Bloody End – Words by Lee Dawson

On a warm Saturday afternoon at the ICC, our very Nathan Cartwright sent his work (GAJ) XI into battle with the DCC boys, interestingly Nathan decided to captain his XI from the position of umpire, injured allegedly or just not wanting to endure the sledging and banter that would have been mandatory or for the cynics amongst us perhaps he wanted to exercise his influence in another manner.
Nonetheless the early arrival of our Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Dannie (ADHD for short) ensured that the local rules were enforced and DCC would bat first, GAJ apparently didn’t wish to contest this rule citing an extension of the rule – ‘let’s make sure the game lasts’.
ADHD clearly enthused about the prospect of discovering some form against the lesser opposition strapped on his pads before GT could contemplate his order, ADHD was joined by ‘he’s posh but not as posh as the real posh tom’ Tom and play got under way. GAJ opened up with left-arm spin, GT declaring this was ‘the one player he knew could bowl’, 23 runs flowed off the first over after a series of half-trackers and wide balls. The bowling at the other was equally as wayward but didn’t offer the same amount of gifts. So with DCC racing along at 15 an over of the first 5, GT decided it might make sense to give everyone at bat and enforce retirements at 50…. ADHD clearly not relishing the idea topped edged a sweep to short fine leg moments later to reduce DCC to 71-1 off 5.4 overs (ADHD 27 from 18).
Tom was joined in the middle by Blikkies who forgot to arrange his cap and in afrikaans barked out his displeasure and instructions to his better half as it was clearly her fault… she made amends immediately by sprinting off and resolving her oversight with the minimum of fuss.
Blikkies and Tom carried on taking the attack to the GAJ bowling attack and when drinks were taken after the 10th over, Tom was informed about the retirement rule smashed two sixes and trudged off disappointed he wasn’t going to fill his boots as much as he wished. Tom 53 (from 21). The debutant John Stamper adorning a complete virgin set of kit strode out to show his new team-mates that lawyers are about results and not time and money. Almost immediately Blikkies decided to check the cloud formation out and fell victim to the rare commodity of a ‘straight-one’ gone bowled for a fine 32 including a graceful straight-drive through long-off legs for 4 which had the purists purring in delight. DCC 150-2 after 11.
John was joined by Greg, slightly subdued by a Gris braii the day before and lacking his usual chipper. John was clearly not on a ‘legal-aid’ case as he took his time at the crease playing circumspectly at the variety of offerings, like it was a ‘working-lunch’ at a tapas bar where the wine wasn’t vintage and everything needed treating with suspicion. Greg was struggling to get going at the other end, as a result the run rate dropped. John suffering from a knee-complaint ran himself out the last ball of the 16th over for 21, DCC 170-3, hobbling off to the small claims court.
Greg was joined by Lee, who was served a waist high full toss on leg stump first up to help him remember what the game of cricket was and how the bat on ball thingy worked. A single followed of a very wide short one giving Greg the strike, he played at a very wide very short and very slow one…. who was the most surprised with what happened next remains unanswered, umpire Cartwright for someone playing at such a wide one, Greg reaching and hitting straight to backward point or backward point for taking the catch high to his right… the one known factor was Greg was gone for 6, 175-4.
Next to the crease was Dave Mariadason, who helped himself to an early boundary with a delightful pick-up over mid-wicket quickly followed by an all run 4. Lee and Dave continued to pick up 1’s, 2’s and the odd boundary, taking DCC to 217-4 after 21. Lee helped himself to 10 off the first 3 balls of the last over before Dave decided 2 down to long-on twice in a row was just a ridiculous concept and trotted back with the trickling throw hitting direct with Dave still well short of his ground, run out for 23. Rory came in for the last two balls and was run out last ball of the innings without facing, Lee 29*, DCC posting a respectable 230-6.
Before DCC took the field John referring to Section 10 sub section 6 article 3 of the UAE penal code declared he isn’t allowed to field with a bad knee and that the code allowed a replacement, Dan Mellor quickly donned his whites and with some regret this morning I expect took to the field.
GT opened the bowling with our 13 year old dynamo Rohan and Rory. Rohan bowled a fine spell of away swing beating the bat at will and Rory bowling a tight line and length. Both openers completed a 4 over spell conceding just 2 boundaries between them, but remained wicketless, Rohan was unlucky as ADHD missed 2 stumpings in as many balls before throwing down the gloves and walking off to ice his pinky. Enter Dan Mellor upgraded from fielder to assume the responsibility of the gloves. GAJ’s opener Aftab had found hitting the ball of the square extremely difficult and as result collapsed under the pressure and retired hurt. So after 8 overs GAJ we 42-1. (Rohan 4-0-15-0, Rory 4-0-21-0). With the light fading and concerns over getting the game completed by Christmas, GT threw the ball to our very own midnight runner Rich ‘Dexy” Hallowes, whose first ball was spooned high to cover where Tom ran round to take a good catch. 42-2. GT brought himself on at the other end and bowled with his usual cunning and guile. Dexy disappointingly without the usual pink cravat caused mayhem in his 2nd over striking again with his first ball bowling the batsman with the old fashioned straight one and then the tip and shy approach of their batsman causing a run out of the last ball to see GAJ slide to 61-4.
GT brought out his ‘special’ delivery in his next over the disguised double bouncer which almost brought the 5th wicket. Dan ‘Teflon’ Mellor had remember how to use the gloves by now and was doing some smart work behind the stumps which almost brought a couple of stumpings and run out chances were coming thick and fast, but Lee and Tom’s radars were clearly set to friendly fire mode. Some of this innings was far from memorable, especially since the author of this piece was busy recalling Lincolnshire’s over 50’s squad with our guest umpire Colin Walters at square leg.
The skipper was not to finish without snaring a victim, another straight one proving too good to reduce GAJ to 81-6 off 16. Blikkies appeared from the partial football ground end and bowled as fast as he could in the half light (2-0-7-0). GT after completing his spell 4-0-18-1 handed over the baton to Dave the destroyer, who after bowling some wayward nantie Hayward deliveries decided to resort to the straight ones, 2 in 2 both bowled. 87-7. In Blikkies 2nd over another suicidal single to a now concentrating Lee saw the score move to 93-8. The destroyer added another bowled in his second over completing a fine spell of 2-0-7-3 (97-9). So after 19 overs GAJ needed 134 runs to win off 3 overs, with the sun setting fast Dexy returned and 2nd ball fired one down the leg side, the batsman swung with all his mite, making a fine contact, unfortunately not with the ball but with Dan’s head, the 12th man forced to leave the field blood streaming down his face and with only one eye open, to make matters worse he bled all over Johns virgin whites. At this point GAJ decided to call it a day and finished 97-9, Dexy 3.2-0-18-2.
Dan retired to the Rashid hospital and the rest of the team retired to the Ryder Cup, Premier League football and Saffer rugby safe in the knowledge the winning feeling had returned.

Darjeeling CC v TAHA CC – words by Kym (not a girl) Harris

It seemed fitting with South Africa playing Pakistan in a test match in Dubai sports city, that Darjeeling would attempt to do the same, by fielding 5 Safas, all equipped with hidden zips, to tackle a Pakistani Taha CC in a 20/20 on turf at the ICC.

Meeting in the dressing room bright and early, it was clear from Gully blaming a maid for his whites misplacement, and Ollies text message at 3.40am to Danny to be picked up, but now not answering the phone, that DCC may start what a basketball team describes Noel Raymond…. short.

A toss was lost, and the inevitable occurred, Darjeeling would field. Gully arrived, had a few heaving practices, and 10 men proceeded to take the field, with captain Tideswell donning the pads. English pastures have seen less grass than the pitch that had been prepared, but as many have experienced in Rock bottoms during school holidays, with grass on the wicket, let’s play cricket.

Moses would open from the Southern end, and although struggled with his length, immediately got a breakthrough,  and again in his second over eventually finishing with 2/18 off 3. Ward fired up from the Northern end, pestering the batsman with a good line, and the promise of some real pace with his Mitchell Johnston like ink. Neither the pace, nor the wicket came but finished off with 0/15 off 3, respectable on a pitch that didn’t want to offer too much assistance.

Danny arrived, Ollie not in tow, without his kit, but more worrying without a towel. So whilst the rest of the DCC players plundered who may be asked to dry the bald head, Danny had scavenged together a uniform, and made up the 11 on the field.

Tideswell made the change, and Brought on the second and third Safa bowlers to get the breakthrough. 2 blistering overs from the younger of the Kurten brothers, Barry (0/6 off 2) put the pressure on, allowing Ettiene to take 2 wickets in 2 tight overs (eventually finishing with 2/17 off 3). The first of which proves why even a moan can be classified as an appeal, with  the umpire giving it out LBW before people had even realised what the muffled sound was. Taha were struggling at 4/48 off their opening 10.

Drinks were taken and Gully trudged in, refreshed for the first time in 3 weeks from water with no hops. Ward would drop a sharp catch in the covers, leaving the silver brumby wondering if his teammates have a disliking to catches off his bowling. The theory was certainly plausible as Kym came in first ball, claiming an edge, and the brisk movements of Hassan at point clenched onto a catch.

The number of safas in the team was questioned when a complaint about the ball was made, but we explained it was made in India, and it was merely dismissed. Very similar to Saturday night supermarket disputes in Durban.

Gully and Kym would keep the wickets falling, with Gully getting one through the batsman defences, and rocking his middle stump, a method not requiring his fielders help, and Kym giving Tideswell the chance to get a good stumping on a turning pitch. Gully finished 1/20 off 3, and Kym 2/31 off 4.

Hassans nimble, panther like movements in the field got him the nod for a bowl, and although the batsman took the aerial route, non went to hand, finishing with 0/30 off 2. Taha CC 7/144 off their 20 overs.

Darjeeling made a steady start to the chase, with their very own Geoffrey Boycott, Andrew Laing (2 runs off his first 16 balls faced), and the larger of the Kurten brothers, Greg, taking the opening duties. A quick flurry of boundaries from Greg, brought tears of pride to Barry on the sideline, before skying one too many finishing with 25.

Same name, different family, Moses strode to the pitch, and pelted a quick fire 32, Andrew Laing continuing to push singles on occasion. At drinks Darjeeling were 1/63 off 9.3 overs, called early due to Moses clearing the boundary, leaving Taha some time to find their pride along with the ball. It didn’t take long after the break for Greg to hit one too many skywards, holing out to midd on.

Barry (the proteas team activities manager) Kurten, hit a fine 18 off 9 balls before being trapped plum in front. If he had laid bat on ball he would have been given not out, yet bat on air is not a saving grace for anyone. His displeased complaints were duly noted and considered, but not even Oscar Pretorious could get the benefit of the doubt on that call.

Laing and Ward quickly followed suit and fell on 14 and 1 respectively, giving Taha a sniff, but Tideswell (34*) and Gully (10*) steadied the ship and put on 37 for the final stand. Not even a time limit pressure given by the ICC security guards could faze the 2 twilighters, and on a five minute warning, even with 4 overs to spare, 26 were hit off the final 10 deliveries, seeing DCC home 5 down and 2 overs to still be bowled.

Beverages in the cricket stadium were to follow and watch the final hours of the test match. A brilliant way to finish a Saturday of cricket, and always keeping that spark alive of what one could have been instead of a Darjeeling cricketer in Dubai. But we surely are not complaining.

Darjeeling CC v Wombats CC – words by Chris "Stato" Tebb

Someone must have forgotten to tell the powers the be that the summer should be over as Darjeeling Cricket Club took on the Wombats at the ICC on a hot Autumn Saturday. As the Darjeeling elite moseyed on into the changing room for plenty of pre-match banter, the Wombats enthusiastically took to the field for a very professional looking warm up.
After the squad had assembled and it must be said, on time, Nick Harvey strolled to the middle for the coin toss which he duly won and after much deliberation decided “we’ll ave a bat first”.
 
Openers Chris Neal and Crayton Apps took to the field and Darjeeling were off to a great start with 2 fours from Neal in the first over, however on the last ball of said over, Neal Bowled by Abid for 8. Next in was Jason ‘Averages’ Brown looking to rack up some runs after a small absence from the club due to some niggling injuries. After facing a few balls to get his eye in, looked to be getting comfortable but was yet to get off the mark. Brown was then shocked to hear Apps call for a very dubious single that subsequently lead to a relatively easy run out for the visitors and DCC were 2 down for just 9 runs. 
In steps Higgins to try and settle the nerves that are starting to show in the faces of on looking team mates. However after some 1s and 2s and the occasional 4 from either end and the score board ticking over slower than the UAE’s unrelenting summer, Higgins was trapped LBW for 12. It must be said that John Houghton’s innings was almost the mirror image of Higgins with some neat 1s and 2s and the occasional 4. His dimise was a catch off  the bowling of Farid with a total of 12.
Nerves and tempers frayed, not helped with short cameoes from Tideswell (1) and N.Raymond (0) who can usually be relyed on to cement a middle order. Out strides the Vice Captain, Nick Harvey,  determined to change the tide of an ever worsening situation. Some at this point may have forgotten that amongst the carnage of the middle order Apps’ name hadn’t yet appeared on the wicket list and they would be absolutley correct. Harvey, getting his eye in with some singles and then unleashing a fury of bondaries; whilst Apps at the other end, stubborn as the preverbeal mule, added to the mounting partenership with singles and doubles of his own. Harvey was finally stumped for a respectable 31 from 35 balls. The score now a very modest 114 / 7.
 
Apps finally surcombing to the heat was stumped trying to up the run rate which brought in Josh Smith for a short spell of 4 runs from 5 balls.   Andrew Laing and Chris Ward then took to the task of seeing the remaining overs through and try to put a decent target on the board for the Wombats to chance. What ensued next was arguably the best partnership of DCC innings with some magnifisant stroke play, sharp running between the wicket and great communication between the two young batsmen. (A few leaves for the top order maybe). Ward bowled Haroon ending the DCC batting at Laing 10 not out, Ward 21 and Darjeeling CC 170 all out, 4 over short of completing their 40.  
 
DCC took to the field with heads slight bowed at the daunting task that faced them. The new nut was handed to Josh Smith and Nick Harvey respectively and after a few overs each the mood started to pick up as both bowlers were keeping the run rate fairly low. This was helped by some sharp fielding that lead to 2 quick wickets, the first of which was a stunning run out from Ward and shortly after a solid catch from Neal. Darjeeling very happy to see the backs of the two openers. This was however short lived as the replacement batsmen planted themselves at the crease and subsequently up the run rate. Smith 7 – 0 – 38 – 0, Harvey 7 – 1 – 33 – 1 and Ward 5 – 0 – 37 – 1.
 
Something needed to be done, so the captain made the decision and the nod was given to our very own Stuart Mathewson, better known as Badger. Raymond’s sixth sense for wickets was spot on as Badger was rewarded with two from very good catches on the boundary by Neal and Apps. Mathewson 4 – 0 – 24 – 2, a few other cameos from DCC bowlers included Neal 1 – 0 – 8 – 0,  Gully 2.4 – 0 – 24 – 0 and Unnamed in the score book 1 – 0 – 4 – 0.
 
Catches, Run outs, shape fielding and cameos however were not enough and the Wombats easily reached their target with plenty of overs to spare. A very sporting decision was then made that DCC would remain in the field and bowl the allotted number of overs so that the opposition got their moneys worth for the day.
 
The result certainly wasn’t one that Darjeeling CC would have hoped for however another smashing day of
cricket was had with plenty of banter and laughs shared.

Darjeeling vs HSBC

Saturday 5th October

With a 1030 start foxing some of the lusher DCC players and the prospective sponsors forcing Steve Brown to be on his best behaviour. Skipper Sackers then asked every player what to do if he won the toss as he fancied a bowl, fortunately peer pressure told and after winning the toss he chose the right option. HSBC took to the field with only 6 players after 4 new players did not turn up! Despite the sparse field, neither of the openers Browner nor John H could take advantage and after a self-confessed scratchy 15, Steve departed with the score on 23 in the sixth over. Cameron tried to accelerate the scoring but perished to Josh’s trigger finger for 13. 

Captain Sackers strode to the wicket intent on increasing the sedate scoring rate (57 off 9.2) but fell for 9 off 13 trying to score off a wide. Enter Chris Neal who succeeded where the other failed and playing proper cricket shots increased the run rate. After Johno retired for 41 at the end of the 16th over, Badger strode confidently to the wicket and confidently strode back one ball later after playing what Browner described as French Cricket around a straight one.  Gully helped Chris maintain the run rate until Chris fell for 36 off 17 balls. Josh (1*) and Gully (16*) managed to help DCC scrambled to a respectable 169 for 6 off their 20 overs. 

With Sackers asking for a brisk over rate as our time slot was fast approaching its deadline, Josh duly obliged with a wicket first ball. Etienne opened at the Academy end and bowled tightly save the 4 and 6 that were smeared off his 5th and 4th ball respectively. Josh returned for a second over but forgot the skipper’s instructions and decided that he enjoyed bowling in the sticky heat and promptly bowled 12 deliveries in his second over. Ash was getting plenty of exercise as the umpire, with his arms up and down like a windmill in a decreasingly enthusiastic manner.  Josh(1-17,2) was withdrawn and Chris Tebb brought in to the attack. Chris and Etienne then bowled tightly only to see some lusty smears reach the boundary off good balls. Etienne was withdrawn after 3 (0-19) without breaking a sweat despite the rest of the team doubling in weight with their sweat saturated shirts. 

Chris picked up his first wicket for the Tea Leaves with the score on 52-2 after 7. Sackers then started the Midas touch routine with the introduced Neil Colbeck striking first ball. Four tight overs from Neil effectively won the game for Dajeeling (4-0-1-24) before Sackers repeated the trip introducing Gully for Chris 1-24 (3), who promptly bowled the HSBC batsman first ball. Gully picked up another two wickets thanks to good catching from Chris Neal, who also chalked up a direct hit run out. Badger bowled the usual floaters that normally bring great success; unfortunately just the one wicket this time and one also striking the Academy on the full about two-thirds of the way up(3-0-18-1). With Gully bowled out with figures of 3-24, Sackers offered a bowl to Chris Neal, who declined, so he bowled himself going for a miserly 5 in the 19th over. HSBC finished on 135-8 off their 20 overs, resulting in a 34 run win and a 2 for 2 weekend for Darjeeling.

Greens defeat Golds in Winter Season opener – words by Ash Banerjee

 

 Lower-order recovery and the skipper’s ‘victuals for victory’ strategy the keys to win

 Image

Darjeeling CC opened the entirely hypothetical winter season with a 40-over intra-club match yesterday, despite any evidence of winter being thin in the air or on the ground. 

Greens’ skipper Raymond Sr. had spent the week plotting the Golds’ demise, and their newly-anointed skipper-of-the-day Sackley walked right into the trap. The experienced and canny Raymond conned the Winter Gods into favouring him with the toss, convenient as two of his squad (the irrepressible Brown (S) and the responsible-yet-delayed Turner) were not expected to arrive anytime soon. 

Play began at 10:38 with Raymond and Rees opening the batting for the Greens, and Harvey and Moses sharing the new ball for the Golds, from the Academy and School Ends respectively, both bowling in the right areas and making good use of the conditions, and the batsmen being circumspect as a few no-balls and wides kept the board ticking slowly.

You have to bowl lots of dot balls or take 10 wickets to win a one-dayer, and Harvey took three in the third over to put the Golds ahead on points quite early in the piece. First, the infamous Raymond himself, nicking a brute of a delivery to Dommett behind the stumps and pausing for effect before being sent on his way, the very next ball Coles choosing to leave an in-ducker which struck him in line on the knee-roll, then Mooney, after his many sacrifices on Friday, stylishly shouldering arms only to see his off-peg gone, mortified, with Scholtz mocking in absentia, “Cheers Jules, thanks for coming.” A hat-trick for Harvey, the ghost of Tony Grieg heard gushing it’s all happening in the middle as winter set in early for the Greens at 14/3 after 3 overs. 

Raymond Jr. (J) was in next, pa testing the opposition to see if they’d take the frontline bowlers off to give the young lad a break, and Sackley obliged, taking Moses off and replacing him with the fraternally friendly medium pace of Raymond Jr. (B) at the School End. 

Amidst the carnage, Rees stayed calm, farmed the strike to shelter young Jake from the newie, played the ball on merit and struck boundaries at will to keep the scoreboard moving. However, Harvey soon scalped another in his 4th over, Raymond Jr. top-edging a dolly to Escritt at short mid-wicket for nought, Greens 44/4 after 7, with the first partnership of any significance realising 30 runs in 5 overs, all to Rees and Extras. Remarkably, nos. 3, 4 and 5 had failed to trouble the scorer

Ward arrived at the crease and immediately began playing some shots, to Rees’ relief. With Saeed on at the Academy End, the pair added 20 in quick time before Ben got one to kick up slightly, Rees nicking off an attempted glide, pouched well by Houghton at slip for a well-made 40, Greens 64/5 after 10. Adamson in next, and out shortly thereafter for 3, bowled by Saeed off “the in-swinger he’d been searching for,” getting his first wicket for the club, Greens 82/6 after 13 thanks to some strike-pinching and good hitting from Ward.

Tardy Turner had finally turned up but there was no sign of Brown yet so Smith was sent in, an inspired move as he settled into stroke-play with ease. Escritt replaced Raymond Jr (B) at the School End, bowling well, but the batsmen were up to the task and the partnership of the innings ensued either side of the first drinks break as they put on 44 for the 7th wicket as the pair milked runs off some unthreatening bowling. 

Ward finally succumbed to Banerjee from the Academy end, bowled off a flipper for an incisive 33, Greens 126/7 in the 19th and this brought Turner to the wicket and thence began the second significant partnership of the innings as Escritt, Banerjee and Sackley leaked runs to the rampant Smith and Turner, odd full-tosses going for 4 even as the dulcet tones of Michael Holding echoed ‘the bad ball must be put away.’

Finally, Sackley resorted to pace to prise the partnership apart, Harvey obliging by trapping Smith lbw for an adventurous and target-setting 47, a 5-fer to Harvey and the Greens 190/8 in the 25th over to bring Brown in at No. 9. Meanwhile, Moses had to pull out of the attack with a sore back after trying to bowl an effort ball (he hates the phrase ‘bowls a heavy ball’ on account of its inaccuracy per the laws of physics). 

Turner and Brown carried on for a bit before Escritt bowled the latter for an enterprising 24, 200/9 after 27, bringing in last man Harris, a good No. 11 to have in any side. Harris and Brown had a bit of fun as the Golds’ lads wilted in the field, taking the score along to 226 before Brown hacked Banerjee across the line to Sackley at short mid-wicket to bring the innings to a close at the end of the 37th over. From a precarious 82/6 the Greens had done very well, aided by some indisciplined bowling (60 extras!) and lackadaisical fielding from the Golds, to end up with 226. 

The Golds had a decent showing with the ball, Harvey the pick of the bowlers with 6-0-23-5; Moses 3-0-19-0, Raymond Jr. (B) 6-0-41-1, Saeed 4-0-24-1, Escritt 7-0-37-1, Banerjee 4.5-0-25-2, Sackley 3-0-23-0 

The scheming Raymond Sr. then unfolded the next phase of his cunning plan, asking the Golds to bat 10 overs as “Tea wasn’t ready yet,” then sent Turner to the rivals’ changing room with a fine, chilled bottle of Macon Village from Chateau Fagerhult to take their minds off the chase

Houghton and Apps opened the batting for the Golds, with Smith (School End) and Mooney (Academy End) opening the bowling for the Greens. Smith worked up a fair head of steam in his first over, castling Houghton with an in-swinging full toss off an under-edge (called no-ball for height) off the 3rd, then yorking him off the inside edge with the last ball, Houghton gone for a duck, sent off with a bellow from the bowler, the Golds 2/1 to bring Dommett in.

A fine partnership followed, with Apps playing attractive shots on both sides of the wicket and Dommett offering sensible support and rapid running, the pair never looking troubled and assuredly putting on 71 off 12 overs while taking the shine off the new ball, then blunting the challenge of the first and second change of the Yorkshiremen Turner and Brown, forcing Raymond Sr. to take them off after 2 and 3 overs respectively, and introducing the off-spin of Rees and the brisk pace of Ward. 

The change worked, Dommett caught behind off Rees’ first ball for 19, Golds 75/2 after 13.1, the skipper Sackley coming in to continue the chase with the returning, in-form Apps, whose stroke-play was as fluorescent as his accessories. Mrs. Dommett appeared and Tea was taken after 15 overs, a sumptuous feast of sausage rolls, spring rolls, curried egg sandwiches, samosas, onion bhajis, brownies, carrot cake, fruit and more, mostly provided by the Darjeeling ladies, Mrs. Raymond & Mrs. Harvey in the main. Mrs. Apps, Mrs. Rees and the soon-to-be Mrs. Tideswell were also present, and children gallivanted nonchalantly on the mound and under the 

tree. Banerjee uncorked a chilled bottle of Gavi with first dibs for the ladies, with Harvey, Sackley, Dommett, Turner, Raymond Sr. and the sommelier polishing off the rest. The senior members were heard remarking this is just like old times at the old Clubhouse, in the TMS booth in the sky Blowers waxed eloquent on the quality of the cakes, and as the afternoon sun peaked, civility prevailed, appetites were sated and thirsts slaked
, and the third phase of Raymond Sr.’s evil plot was put in play, inducing a sated torpor to the Golds’ lower order, effectively taking them out of the chase. 

The scorers Raymond Jr. (B) and Banerjee then passed the sheet on to Houghton, with an exhortation to make a contribution to the team’s efforts and score with the pen since he couldn’t with the bat. Houghton settled in with the leftover sausage rolls and omitted to note the scores and overs at the fall of wickets whilst eating for Kent and drinking for France.

The top order continued to thrive after Tea, first Apps and Sackley putting on about 20 for the 3rd wicket before the former was bowled by Ward for a classy 48, then new man Tideswell and Sackley putting on another 40 or so with good strokes all around the park as three catches went down in characteristic Darjeeling fashion. Tideswell eventually holed out in the deep off the bowling of Raymond Jr. (J) for an enterprising 25 off 29, with a big six over cover off the hapless Harris, who bowled better than last week but still couldn’t buy a wicket

Harvey and Sackley put on another 30 or so before the latter’s straight drive found Mooney’s trailing boot (even while he was taking evasive action) onto the stumps while Harvey was backing up, unfortunately run out off for a typically efficient 14 off 16 balls, the Golds approximately 160/6 off (I think) 22 overs, still in with a chance if the lower order kept their heads about them and the tail wagged, but some on the mound suspected that the worm had turned. 

New man Saeed was in at 7 and Sackley was looking sublime until he was snared in the deep playing one lofted shot too many while trying to force the pace, Raymond Jr. (J) doing the damage again. With the indisposed Moses coming in at 8 the Golds had hope yet, until he was undone by a pearler from Mooney taking top of off, and the wheels began to come off the Golds’ chase. 

Escritt in next and out first ball, bowled by Mooney, then Raymond Jr. (B) in, defending doggedly while Saeed tried to farm the strike, trepidation on the mound as tension and humour mounted equally as only 6 runs came off 6 overs, the chase effectively grinding to a halt. In an inspired move Raymond Sr. brought on Adamson to bowl his dobbers, and Saeed was out stumped to bring in last man Banerjee, with 40-odd needed off 5 overs. A few runs later Raymond was stumped as well and it was all over, the Golds collapsing from an assured 135/4 (or so – wish he’d done the FoW) to 190 all out after 33.

The Greens conceded 40 Extras yet bowled well, Smith 4-0-23-1, Mooney 7-0-12-2, Turner 2-0-15-0, Brown 3-0-28-0, Ward 6-0-25-1, Rees 5-0-33-1, Harris 3-0-23-0, Raymond Jr. (J) 6-0-30-2 and Adamson the pick of the bowlers with 1-0-5-2. 

On deeper reflection the ebb-and-flow of the game presents an interesting story. The Greens began poorly before a late-order recovery got them to a respectable total, while the Golds began well then tailed off rapidly, run-scoring and wicket-taking showing alternating bell-curve-like patterns over the course of the day’s play. A game of two halves indeed, through the course of which the injured Brown (J) made snarky comments through the day on everyone’s batting techniques, bowling form and fielding prowess (or lack thereof) and cracked up all present. 

With so many old and new members having played a good game of cricket, a team photo was inevitable and Theresa duly complied. Gary snapped away through the morning, some more were taken with phones in the changing rooms, and all will be compiled as an album on facebook in days to come. 

And so, to the changing rooms – both teams gathered in the winners’ with cold ones in hand, the books were read, banter exchanged, Gary magiced up a bottle of sparkling Rose for the winning skipper, Dannie appeared in a technicolour sarong brighter than anything we’ve seen on Crayton, then presented Hassan with a jockstrap, the bottle of bubbly went around the room, we finished up the beverage and some proceeded after showers to Girders, hurried along by the most pungent of farts from an apologetic Brownie which necessitated a rapid exit from the changing rooms. 

A really great day out for all… well done to Nick for organising it, to the Darjeeling ladies (Mrs. Raymond most of all – she later confirmed Noel had asked her to hold off coming to the ground as his plan was playing out well) for a sumptuous Tea, and to our junior members Jacob and Ben for being absolute troopers as they always are.

Darjeeling CC v BCA Eagles – words by Nick "Iron Man" Harvey

DCC hosted BCA Eagles first game of the season at Sharjah this Friday.

Our punctuality was uncommonly good – with all Eleven players in attendance prior to the 2:00pm scheduled start – and not a hangover in sight (apart from Mo of course, but that’s par for the course) – as Chris Dommett recently remarked – I don’t think we’re drinking enough.

BCA Eagles started drifting in soon after 2:00pm.  I tossed with Shameem and after a re-throw was negotiated we managed to win/conjure the toss and inevitably put the Eagles into field. 

In an effort to out-fox and unsettle the opposition’s line and length we opened with Simon Fowler and the left-handed Noel Raymond (indeed, I actually put myself as skipper just so I could get Noel up the batting order!) 

Wides kept the score ticking along at seven an over, though the runs off the bat were less fluid.  By the seventh over, the padded up batsmen (Sackers & Jason) were starting to get fidgety and all were trying to will the score on….  Noel started to respond and in the 7th & 8th over hit three consecutive boundaries..

Talk in the stands centred on (as it usually does) sports and romance.  With Sackers revealing his destined meeting with a girl at the Durham Test Match (what better place to meet a girl?)

At drinks Darjeeling were 72 without loss and with Simon’s flowing run-scoring absent (as well as him being knackered) he retired hurt bringing Sackers to the crease.  Love it seems conquers all – but doesn’t help find the middle of the bat – and after a couple of overs, Paul miscued one to mid-wicket, bringing Jason Brown on with one of his seven bats (an additional two currently being tirelessly handcrafted).  Noel at ‘tother end started to spray the ball around with more abandon and began to pile on the runs including one over that went for 26 runs.   BCA Eagles offered a reasonable bowling attack (and highly enthusiastic appeals), with Shehab’s spinners topping the fair but slightly mediocre efforts.

With two overs to spare and Noel in the nineties, all prepared themselves for the standing ovation.  Noel’s umpteenth four brought him on to 99 and even Ben and Jacob started to take some notice of the cricket.  With a single needed, Noel decided that a top-edged square cut was the way forward and we all groaned as the catch was pouched at point.  Chris then joined Jason at the crease and added four runs (Jason finishing on 19*) to the total bring Darjeeling on to 171 for 3 off their 20 overs (a total which George – who umpired – believed to be a highly competitive one considering the speed of the outfield).  Noel collapsed on the turf and remained there until the start of the next innings.

Darjeeling opened their bowling attack with Josh (Water Tank) and Jacob (University).  Mr Smith making his intentions clear (and strengthening his hostile-fast-bowler reputation) by greeting the opening bat with a bouncer that ricocheted off his lid.  It was however, Jacob that was the more consistent of the two and was duly rewarded with his efforts in the second over with the batsmen forced to play on the up and yours truly was gifted a straight forward catch in the covers.  Jacob was to enjoy another wicket in his following over and Josh joined the party in his third over as a mistimed drive was caught at mid-on.

DCC looked to be cruising at this point but a resolved BCA partnership and an expensive over off the bowling of Ben took the BCA Eagles total just five short of ours (was) at the half way stage. 

The skipper believing we needed to tighten the scoring up brought himself on and proceeded to bowl two wides whilst  Jason was keeping things tidy (relatively) at the water tank end and surprised all with a couple of jaffers and was unfortunate to finish wicketless.  With no notice whatsoever, the skipper elected to get Crayton on to bowl after his DNB showing in our innings.  In retrospect, a few minutes to warm-up may have paid dividends as on his second (legitimate) ball – he pulled up with a strain in his chest/right tit  (he’s since been diagnosed with a torn under arm muscle and we all wish you a speedy recovery Crayton, Sharjah wont be the same without your electric-orange sportsgear!) .  Jason completed the over, revealing on his penultimate delivery that he (also) wouldn’t be able to continue (or words to that effect)

With last week’s bowling star Mohit on at the University end it was (overall) hard work in the field.  BCA Eagles were enjoying a lengthy partnership with a Left-Right hand combo, frequent fielding changes and the humidity were taking their toll.  Replacing the wounded Crayton and exhausted Jason I completed the bowling from the WT end – eventually, breaking the partnership with a full straight one.   By this stage the scoring had been restricted BCA Eagles had run out of steam and effective batters.  Ben came on to finish up and was unlucky not to get a wicket on his first ball – being dropped (by a tough chance) at slip – but was credited with a wicket on the last ball of the day.

We left the field jubilant, though not unexhausted.  Hands were shaken, backs per patted, Fowler mumbled something about the number of wides bowled and Sackers headed straight for the ice box and liquid refreshment.  Noel finishing the clear MOTM with his 99 off just 61 deliveries. 

Bevvies were consumed on the pitch and only Sackers, George, Chris & I reunited at Fibbers……..a slightly poor post-match gathering.

To overcome this bizarre non-drinking affliction Chris has suggested we have a pre-winter Brunch at the end of September to kick start the return to the ICC and set our priorities straight……….we have the Bahrainis coming on Friday and a reputation to uphold!