Quidditch Match Report of Darjeeling vs. XL played at Hogwarts on 22 Feb 2014‏ – words by Andrew " Tavare" Laing

It was a fine day for Quidditch on a sunny afternoon at Dubai’s very own Hogwarts (a.k.a. Repton College). Unfortunately no one knew the rules of Quidditch and everyone had left their brooms at home so we had to play cricket instead…

Darjeeling batted first (I am sure it is a requirement somewhere in our Club Constitution) with Laurence and the Silent Assassin, Chris Neal, opening the batting and getting us off to a great start. The first wicket put on the highest partnership of the innings with 46 runs at better than 10 an over until Laurence and Chris decided to have a lawyers conference in the middle of the pitch while trying to take a single. Laurence was run out despite his earnest appeals for a mistrial as the XL keeper strangely never quite had the ball in his gloves when the bails were removed – Run Out for 18 (with 1 x 4). Dannie Rees came in next and made a sprightly 7 with 1 x 4 (sorry about that batting average Dannie!) until he got himself talked out by Dobbie in jeans lurking at Point and getting bowled by the check-out clerk fresh from his morning shift at Carrefour. The umpires were strangely unmoved by Dannie’s request for another go and he was sent on his way with the score on 75 for 2.

This bought new lad, Milo Johnson, to the crease who gave a master class in axe work and proceeded to late chop no less than three consecutive 4’s to Third Man. All the while the runs were coming at around 10 to the over. Chris Neal bought up his 50 and then proceeded to get bowled by Dobbie the very next ball for 52 (8 x 4’s, 1 x 6) – Total 114 for 3 in the 11th over. Milo meanwhile kept the score board ticking away by his prodigious use of the chop shot and then watched the Middle Order collapse in a bit of a heap as Nick Harvey (bowled for 2), Chris Tebb (bowled for 2) and Ben Jones (LBW for 8 with 1 x 4) all came and went. Milo was next to fall, Bowled for 54 (8 x 4’s) and the score was 173 for 7 at the end of the 17th over. This bought the Saffer contingent to the crease and Etienne Visser (6 Not Out) and Andrew “Tavare” Laing (23 Not Out with 3 x 4’s) ended off the innings with a 31 run partnership in three overs taking Darjeeling to a competitive total of 204 for 7 off 20 overs.

The Pace Twins, Nick Harvey and Etienne Visser opened the bowling in XL’s innings, keeping things on a tight rein while the XL openers swung and missed. True to their name, they had identical bowling figures of 2 overs taking 0 for 12. Our new favourite Kiwi, Hagrid a.k.a. Ben Jones, came in next and let loose a few rip snorting bouncers that had the XL batsmen wobbling and went wicketless for 22 runs off his 2 overs. Chris Tebb steamed in off his long run up and made the first breakthrough taking 1 for 17 off his three overs. Well behind the run rate, XL needed to get the ball rolling and tried to take on our very own Southern Hemisphere spin twins: Gibby and Kymbo who tore apart the XL batting line up aided by some athletic keeping by our very own Welsh Wicketkeeper Extraordinaire, Dannie Rees. Gibby got 4 wickets for 20 off his 4 overs and Kymbo got a fiver – 5 wickets for 14 off 4 overs to wrap things up. Dannie got no less than 5 stumpings as the XL batsmen persisted in committing Hiri Kiri dancing out down the track to the Spin Twins. XL got bowled out for less than 100 off 17 overs, giving us the win by over 100 runs.

We all retired to the Dubai Polo Club for post match beverages.


Darjeeling CC v Hard Hitters CC – words by Andrew "Tavare" Laing

A lovely day for cricket at the ICC with the pitch giving a bit more life than normal. Darjeeling batted first (big surprise that!). Ash was kind enough to be umpire for the day and got proceedings going on time in the 22 over match.

Chris Neal and the Dominator opening the innings and put on 111 in the first 11 overs against some inconsistent bowling by Hard Hitters. At 137 for no loss in the 14th over Chris and the Dominator took pity on the opposition and retired. The Dominator had started circumspectly but let rip later on and ended on 58 Retired with 6 x fours and 1 x six (a Jos Butler-esque thump over the boundary fielder at deep mid-wicket). Chris Neal played his usual classy innings with some grand cover drives over the field and ended on 59 Retired with 7 x fours. This bought the middle order into play who proceeded to slow down the scoring rate by getting themselves out at inconvenient times. Dannie Reece played tip & run for a few balls and then hit out to the one player in the opposition who could catch – out for 4 runs, caught on the boundary. Jonno skied one and went for 7 with 1 x four. AT was bowled in the second to last over for 10 runs with 1 x four. Jason dot Brown made a nicely compiled 26 Not Out which included no less than 3 x threes and only 2 x fours so his running quota for the year has been met. Andrew made 4 Not and Darjeeling ended up on 199 for 5 after the required 22 overs. The opposition bowlers had pretty poor figures apart from Adil the spinner who took 3 for 26 off his 4 overs.

The record of the Hard Hitters inning is based solely on hazy memory as the scorebook is blank. The highlights were:

Hard Hitters proved to be seriously misnamed. They were a bit outgunned in the batting department and never really threatened getting to the required run rate. They ended up on around 130 to 140 for 8 in their 22 overs.

Opening the bowling were Chris Neal and Gully. Chris went wicketless but Gully got three wickets in his spell including two in two balls (unfortunately the hat trick ball was well defended).

Support bowlers were Liam, Hassan, Kymbo, Jonno and Dannie who shared the rest of the wickets. Hassan got two wickets, Jonno at least one and the rest is all a bit hazy (bowlers, feel free to elaborate here)…

Some particularly fine catching in the outfield with Kymbo taking two great catches off skied shots and Chris Neal taking two goodies out on the boundary. Chris Dommet also got a catch and a stumping. AT also got a catch at backward point.

Some particularly exciting dropped catches – Laim (the sun was in my eyes), Andrew (failed to catch a low flying V2 rocket), Gully, Hassan (two?) and I am sure there were more (you know who you are!)…

Afterwards we retired to Andrew’s apartment down the road in Motor City for a braai and a few beverages, which no doubt contributed to the hazy memory!